All The Single Ladies
by BilboBagginsYoloSwaggins
Summary: WH13 fanfic set between S4Ep7-9 rewatch S4 episode 5 where claudia witnesses the birth of an artifact. Anyway enjoy, PLZ PLZ PLZ review, favourite and follow :) Rated T for violence and mild language, nothing worse than the actual TV show. -Kirk out
1. Chapter 1

"Jinksy is a momma's boy! Jinksy is a momma's boy!"

"Shut up, Claudia!" I said in a warning tone. Claudia had been calling me a _momma's boy_ ever since we got back from visiting my mother. Now that we had both forgiven each other about Sophie's death, Claudia and I had been disconnected from the metronome - and from each other.

Claudia chased me down the stairs of Leena's B&B with another chorus of "Jinksy is a momma's boy!"

"Shut up, Claudia!"

"Oh, is she still going on about that?" asked Myka, who was, as usual, reading a book, draped over Leena's couch.

"Yep," I replied. As Leena walked by with a tray, I smelled something suspiciously delicious.

"Are those…scones?"

"Yes," replied Leena, with a general _oooh _from Myka, Claudia and myself. "And you better start on them before Artie gets here, or there won't be any."

"Too late," said Claudia, dismally, as Artie walked through into the B&B living room.

"Everyone, I have assignments for you, come and - oh, are those scones, Leena? Mmm thank you," Artie mumbled, grabbing a handful of scones, which only left half.

Which Pete took.

"Ooooh, Leena, scones, mmm, delicious, thanks," he said, jogging downstairs to the dining room.

Myka, Claudia, Leena and I followed into the dining room.

"So, Artemis," said Claudia, in an accent H.G Wells probably would have cringed at, "what hast thou been doing? Creating fire?" This earned a scowl from Artie. Well, Artie was always scowling, so this earned Claudia a deeper scowl.

"Riding dinosaurs?" I suggested, earning a glare over his spectacles that looked rather like Professor McGonagall.

"Writing the Rosetta Stone?" Myka joined in.

"Pwobrly berldwin P'rmds er' Ge'zer," said Pete, with about five scones stuffed in his mouth. We all looked at him in disgust. "Whar?" he said indignantly.

"Can you be any more childish?" asked Leena. Of everyone here, she was the most motherly figure - which often meant she scolded Pete.

"He says 'Probably building Pyramids at Giza,'" Myka concluded.

"Wow, you still speak Pete, huh? That must be the hardest language you know," Claudia said, then turned to me and mouthed _momma's boy_.

"What did I say, no old jokes, no short jokes, no fat jokes, no glasses jokes!" Artie demanded irritably.

"But Artie, we're sorry, we only did old jokes," Pete said. "We're not done yet!"

"Yes. You. Are. We have a ping, for Steve and Claudia, so Pete and Myka can take a break form their exhausting time in West Virginia. Take some time, maybe see a movie, or go to a restaurant…"

"Oh really?" said Pete excitedly. "Because there's this _awesome_ new taco place that opened up that I wanna show Myka-"

"No, of course not!" snapped Artie, making me jump and spill coffee on myself.

"Ouch!" I yelped, with Leena quickly appearing with a towel and refresher of coffee.

"Oh, poor Jinksy. For a second I expected to feel your pain…but because you're a momma's boy…" Claudia jeered.

"Not now, Claudia," I warned.

"_Shut up, all of you!_" Artie yelled, making all of us jump.

"Artie, are you alright?" Leena said in her soothing but concerned tone. "You're aurora's off the charts, its never this red…"

"I'm _fine_, alright, I've just got a lot on my mind," Artie snapped. "Look sorry, but a lot is going on. Pete, Myka, believe it or not, but we still have artifacts that have to be tagged and placed from Warehouse 2."

"Oh, man, we're still working on that?" Pete whined.

"Leena will help you out, you've got to do it _quickly_ thought, they've been mulling over for over a year and their energies could be…_dangerous_. Anyway, Steve, Claudia, we have a ping in Minneapolis. A woman is jumping in the face of danger, taking bullets, etc. and miraculously healing from the wounds. However, it makes her increasingly reckless. Yes, I know, she's doing good, but every artifact has a downside."

"I know that woman," said Claudia.

"I know what the artefact is.


	2. Chapter 2

"Er, what do you mean, you know about that?" inquired Myka.

"Yeah, Claude, what's the deal?"

I cleared my throat. I thought Mrs Frederic would have told the others. But, heck, this is the Warehouse - secrets are everywhere. Even Mr Kusan, head of the Regents, wouldn't know everything.

"Well, uh, a few weeks ago Mrs Frederic 'invited' me to lunch on Minneapolis-"

At this, Pete's stomach rumbled. Typical.

"What?" he said sheepishly.

"Anyway, she taught me about the ability to sense the birth of an artifact-"

"Wait, artifacts are born?" Steve quizzed. I was getting slightly impatient what with all the interruptions.

"Yeah, cos it's every mothers dream to be cradling her new-born Poseidon's Trident, or Beatrix Potter's Tea Set," Pete joked.

"Anyway," I continued, making a mental note to not pause to avoid more interruptions, "Mrs Frederic took me outside this jewellery store. This woman was browsing the store when a man came in with a baby. He set down the portable cot, and started talking to the clerk. Anyway, another man came in and shouted, 'This is a robbery!' The clerk started sobbing and the robber shot at the baby. The woman browsing jumped in front of the baby and took the bullet."

"What did you do?" gasped Leena.

"Mrs Frederic wouldn't let me interfere. Anyway, an ambulance was called but the robber escaped. The brave woman was ok."

"So what does this have to do with an artifact being created?" asked Steve

"When I saw the woman, the bracelet just...shimmered. Sparkled."

"The bracelet became the artifact," Myka concluded.

"So why didn't you just snag, bag and tag it?" Artie asked irritably.

"Mrs Frederic said we didn't interfere until the artifact acted up."

This actually confused myself; why not immediately snag, bag and tag the artifact before it acts up, like now.

"Anyway, that was a lovely story, Miss Donovan, but there's a ping and about 5000 artifacts waiting for you all. Go, bye, tra-la, auf wiedersehn," Artie shooed us away.

Off to Minneapollis we go.


	3. Chapter 3

AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I'm sorry for the gaps in between chapter posts. I've been very busy juggling exams and high school and violin and overall life. Please don't be impatient or lose faith, I'll post whenever I can. Like now. :) Thanks Keep Calm and Smell Apples**

"No, no, no! Pete?" Leena was somehow dumbfounded with what Pete was doing. But, then again, Pete was...Pete.

"Wha-?" Pete looked confused as Leena snatched the artifact he was holding off him.

"What were you _thinking_?" Leena asked exasperatedly.

"What?" Pete asked confused. "It looked like it would go here."

"No, no, no, the conflicting energy from the original Rosetta Stone and Imhotep's 'blue-print' papyrus could cause chaos," Leena said, walking away and muttering to herself.

"Well, that's what we deal with, _chaos_, right, Mykes?"

"Yeah," I said somewhat distractedly.

I often thought about the Warehouse..._a world of endless wonder_, as Mrs Frederic had described. I wonder, sometimes, if we're doing the right thing, if it's ethical to just lock something up just because we don't understand it. Everyone here wonders that. But, I guess, we're just keeping them safe until we _can_ understand them. And then again, should Poseidon's Trident really be out in the open? Should Alice Liddell the homicidal teenager really be exposed to society?

We're just trying to help protect the world.

To make it a better place.

"Oooooh," Pete said excitedly and curiously. That couldn't be good.

"Peeeeete?" I called, running to the sound of his voice. I saw him standing with a gold statue. Upon closer look it was the statue of Nefertiti, the Egyptian Pharaoh. Pete was staring at it's eyes intently. That was uncharacteristically worrying; normally when Pete met a beautiful women it wouldn't be her eyes he would stare at.

Then I noticed the eyes were glowing.

Wait - no they weren't. Must just be a trick of the light, all the purple goo.

"Pete?" I asked tenderly. He snapped out of his trance.

"Wha-? Oh, yeah, right, I was just OWWWWWWWWW!" he yelped, dropping the artifact.

"Pete!" I screamed indignantly, diving and catching the artifact. I saw it's eyes glow again.

But the glow disappeared. I passed it off as another trick of the light.

"Myka, are you ok - _owww! _It burned me, Mykes."

"What?" I asked as I clambered up. My ribs hurt from the impact. Instinctively I went to probe or damage but stopped before Pete could make a boob joke.

"What do you mean, it burned you Pete?"

"I mean it burned me. Look!"

Pete held out his hand. Sure enough, there was a hole in his purple gloves and his fingers were red and raw.

"Is everything alright?" Leena gasped, out of breath, as she ran towards us. "I heard some screaming and - omigod, Pete! What happened? Are you ok?"

"That naked-statue-lady burned me," he moaned as Leena checked over his hand.

"I'll go take him to Artie's office, there's gotta be some bandaids and ice there," I said, taking Pete by the arm.

"Oh, and, Leena, could you shelve this? You might wanna be...careful," I said, as Leena took the statue. I could've sworn that it's eyes glowed again, and when Leena stared at it I got worried. But she suddenly broke her gaze, convincing me again that I was seeing things and that nothing was awry.

"Ok. And take care of that hand, Pete," Leena said, as she turned and walked gracefully off.

"What was that thing?" Pete asked.

"_Not _the weirdest thing that we've dealt with," I said, as we walked off to Artie's office, with the occasional groan from Pete.


	4. Chapter 4

"What'cha looking at, Jinksy?" I asked Steve, who was gazing off behind us.

"Wha? Uhh, nothing," he said.

"Wow. You thought the human lie detector would learn to become a better liar," I smirked. Then I saw a police officer in the general direction of Steve's gazing. A particularly _handsome_ police officer.

"Ooooh, is it that _absolutely dashing _policeman over there?" I pried. I knew it was kinda rude but it was fun. And we're a family. Its what family does.

Steve's blushing confirmed my suspicions.

"Ooooooh!"

"Yes, Angela Lansbury, you have solved the mystery," Steve said irritably.

"Oh! You are so cute! _Naughty_ gay besty."

"Oh, look, that's our flight," Steve said, briskly walking towards the plane.

"Changing the topic much, _elusive_ gay besty," I panted as I caught up with him.

We climbed the steps into the plane.

"Oh. Spacious," Steve said awe. We had an aisle seat at the back of the plane. It wasn't very crowded for a Saturday. After the customary safety check, we buckled up our seat belts and were ready for take off.

I never really liked planes. Or heights. Maybe because my brother floating 10 feet in the air in an interdimensional bubble scaring the crap out of me started the fear.

And yes, I know, that sentence sounds completely stupid and random.

A very perky flight attendant came to our seats.

"Is there anyting I can halp yo with, y'all?" she asked in an accent worthy of Sally Stukowski. Then I noticed she was looking Steve down. Steve noticed that too.

"Uh, no, thanks," he said uncomfortably.

"Alright, handsome," she said with a wink before she walked away. Steve breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank god I have you here with me and not Pete," I said. "What do you think that they would be doing?" I asked.

"They'd probably be making out on the seat next to us," Steve said bluntly.

"Ewww," I said, disgusted. "Gross. Please don't put that image in my head."

"Sorry," he said quickly.

I yelped as the plane shuddered violently. Steve's reading glasses went askew giving him a rather disgruntled look. I saw a big, black plane flying away from us rapidly.

Then the sirens sounded.

Everything happened at once. People started standing up. A baby was screaming. A woman was wailing. The sirens were screeching.

"Please keep calm," a deep voice boomed over the intercom. "Please keep calm. Although we have been hit by a Russian plane, everything will be fine. We are circling back to the airport now.

Great. Just another weird thing to deal with.

And then we started tilting down.

And down.

And down.

"2000 feet," said the intercom.

The flight attendant who had hit on Steve was screeching. The plane was in chaos.

The plane was circling, down, down.

Steve pointed out the window. One of our wings had been completely ripped off.

And we were falling.

Into the ocean.

"1500 feet."

A sudden jerk and Steve was flung from his seat.

"Steve!" I yelled, trying to help him but my seat belt was stuck. I eventually ripped it off, and I staggered, trying to find Steve.

I found him four rows ahead, draped over a seat, blood trickling down his forehead.

He looked dead.

A wave of horror and anguish washed over me. He looked just like he did when Marcus Diamond had killed him at the airport hangar.

"1000 feet."

I was flung against the wall as the plane jerked again. The pilots were doing their best to keep it going to the airport, but we were plummeting to fast.

I jumped towards Steve, grabbing onto his arm. I checked his temple, his neck, his wrist, his chest desperately.

I found a weak pulse.

I started crying; half because Steve was alive, half because we were plummeting to our deaths.

"500 feet."

I held Steve's warm hand.

"400 feet."

I clutched his body desperately, hugging him.

"300 feet."

"200 feet."

"100 feet."

Tears filled my eyes as I took what would be my last look at Steve, my best friend.

The last thing I would ever see.

I braced for impact -


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Just a note to readers, this chapter might be a little intense for some readers. It kinda involves a bit of torture. Sorta. But not too bad. Rated T. Just read it :) Anyway thanks for all your support everyone. Don't forget to PM me or review telling me what should happen later on. Im a bit stuck on ideas. My favourite idea I will include and of course, give credit to whoever's idea it is. Bye :)**

Ah. A nice break after 2000 years of inventory.

No.

Wait.

Not _me _doing inventory for 2000 years. Doing inventory of 2000 years worth of artifacts.

I sat down with a taco (the new type that I did end up showing Myka), a cup of coffee and a bagel. I spread my legs over the couch and reached for the T.V remote.

Uh oh.

I saw it, about three metres away from me on the mantle.

Crap. I did _not_ want to get up.

I stared intently at it for a few seconds. I wish I had a telekinesis artifact.

"Hey, Pete, whatcha doing?" Leena asked, standing in the doorway.

"Trying...to...reach...remote...with...mind!"

"How many times have I told you, you're not a Jedi," she said, coming closer and taking the remote from the mantle. She strode over towards me and placed it on my lap.

Wait, what?

Placed it on my lap?

She was smiling intently, gazing at me longingly. I mean, I know we had a thing when we first met, but now thats kinda over. We're family, not..._family_.

She came closer...

"Okay!" I said a little too loudly. This surprised Leena; of course she knew that nomally if a beautiful woman like her would have done that to me that I would have, uh, taken the opportuniy.

"Okay, lets see whats on the T.V," I said, pointing the remote at the flatscreen.

"And lets cross right over to Tim at the South Dakota Airport. Tim?"

"Yes, thank you Dan. After a mayday call from the 11:00 plane to Minneapolis, M367-"

I gasped.

That was the plane that Claudia and Steve were on.

"Leena!" I said worriedly. "That was the plane Claudia and Jinksy were on! Do you think they're...ok?"

Leena didn't seem worried at all. She kept smiling and gazing intently at me.

"I'm sure they're fine. They're resourceful, they'll be alright."

I thought she had a point.

"-and so far there have been no found survivors," the T.V presenter said.

My stomach dropped.

Steve and Claudia are dead.

No.

Might be dead.

The plane only crashed 15 minutes ago. They are still searching for them, right? There' still hope...

"Don't worry, Pete. They will be fine," Leena said reassuringly. She came closer and started massaging my shoulders. She was almost on top of me; her frizzy hair I could smell.

"Why don't I take your mind off them," she whispered, barely audible in my ear. She came closer, closer, closer...

"Ok, what the heck is going on here?" I said, ducking out from underneath her. Then I noticed her eyes glowed. Briefly. A flash of light.

I felt a strange sense of de ja vu.

Ohhhhhh.

The Nefer-whatsitsname statue.

"What's the matter, Petey?" Leena said, coming closer again, in a mock baby voice. "I can show you a good time," she whispered. She started to unbutton her shirt...

"Ok, I think you were whammied by that naked lady statue thing. Let's just take you back to the Warehouse and bag the artifact. Ok?"

Leena sniffled a little, looking disappointed. "Ok," she said. "Can I hold your hand?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess," I said, extending my-non burnt hand.

With an amazing amount of force, Leena swung me back onto the couch. I landed with an _oooooph_ on my back. Leena jumped on top of me.

"You're mine, now, Lattimer. Let me show you," she snarled, hand towards my pants. I tried to shove her off, but she was surprisingly strong.

Like Myka strong.

"Leena! What do you think you're doing?" Myka cried. Speak of the devil.

"Myka, help!" I shouted. Myka picked Leena off me, shoved her outside, and locked the door. She rushed over towards me.

"Oh, Pete, are you ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good," she said, with a glow in her eye.

Uh oh.

"Then you'll be ready for me," she said with malicious desire, jumping on top of me. I tried to shove her off but couldn't. She started kissing me so passionately you would think it was the last day on earth. I tried to get over the fact that she was such a good kisser (it was hard. No - wait that kinda sounds weird) and tried to push her off.

"Sorry, Mykes," I said.

"Mm, uh, mm, why would you be sorry," she moaned in-between kisses and taking off her clothes.

"This."

I swiftly shoved my knee into her stomach. She curled up and swung her into the wall.

I half ran, half pulled my pants up when Myka jumped onto me, slamming me into the wall. I tried to push her of but she grabbed my burnt hand.

"Owww, ahhh," I moaned.

"I control you know. Your _mi-aiiiiiiiiiiii_," Myka cried as Leena slammed her into the wall. Don't ask me how she got into the room; the door was double-locked and there were no windows. Myka had the only key.

I saw them fighting on the ground. One of them could get seriously hurt; who knows what this artifact could make them do. I wanted to help them, pry them apart, but at the same time, they tried to rape me, so I didn't feel too much sympathy. I figured the only way to help them was the to get to the Warehouse and neutralize the artifact.

I slipped out of the room, grabbed my keys and started the ignition.

"He's getting away!" I heard Myka shout. The two women scrambled outside as I drove towards the Warehouse, leaving them outside the B&B.

God, why do I have to be so irresistible?


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's my birthday! YAY :) Thank you to everyone for all your support. here are a few more chapters :) Keep reviewing, following and favouriting! **

_Black._

_I could hear her behind me._

_Her breathing was loud as we ran through the black._

_Heh, huh, huh, huh, heh, heh..._

_Dead end. _

_Black. _

_I saw her coming for me,_

_I leant against the wall, helpless._

_She raised her dagger._

_Claudia stabbed me._

_"...artie...Artie...ARTIE!"_

"Wha-What?" I said, as I snapped back into reality.

"Artie!"

BANG BANG BANG

"Artie!"

BANG BANG BANG

"Artie!" came Pete's muffled voice as he banged on the door of the Umbilical.

"Artie let me in!"

Why couldn't he let himself in?

Oh.

I changed the password once an hour after the Brother Adrian debacle. Pete mustn't know the latest one.

"Hold on," I grumbled impatiently, getting up from my chair. My back hurt from slumping over the desk. I entered the new code and Pete rushed in, panting.

"Artie, quickly, change the code," he gasped, cradling his hand.

"Why?" I asked exasperatedly.

"Leena and Myka...whammied by Nerfethesis-"

"Nefertiti," I corrected.

"Yeah, that...," Pete continued panting, out breath. "Now...Leena and Myka...love me...like..._really_ love me...almost killing each other over me..."

"What?" I questioned in disbelief. A Nefertiti artifact I had never heard of. And one that could make Myka love Pete? Inconceivable.

"Are you pulling my leg?" I asked suspiciously.

"No!" Pete cried. "Now quickly change the door code. They were trying to follow me! I swear, it was like...they were going to devour me! And not in the good way, Artie."

"Ok, ok, ok," I said, rushing over to the door lock, typing in a new code.

"So what do we do now? Check the database?"

"No," I said, "the Nefertiti thing wasn't placed until this morning so you wouldn't have had time to put it in the database."

"Can't we just put it into the database now, see if it works?"

"Yes...what aisle was it?" I asked.

"Aisle," Pete paused, remembering. "Aisle...uh, 64...Z? Yeah, aisle 64Z."

"Well, then, what are you waiting for," I said impatiently. "Let's go!"


	7. Chapter 7

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry for last and this chapter being so short. I only want to have 1 idea per chapter and, well, some ideas are shorter than others :)**

"Crap!"

"He got away!"

"You let him get away!"

"No, you did!"

I lunged at Myka, knocking her to the ground, winding her. She rolled onto me, but I shoved her off. I grabbed my Tesla and aimed it right between her eyes. Normally Tesla's were only slightly harmful, but at close range like this, heh, they could be lethal.

"Stop!" Myka cried, obviously realising this too. "We can't fight each other; at least not now. We have to, to find Pete and then we'll fight over him."

A temporary truce didn't make me happy.

There was time for me to kick Myka's butt later.

"So, Ms. Brains," I started, "how do you suppose we get to the Warehouse? Pete took the only car left here!"

This stumped Myka. I could see her thinking. She always thinks she's the smartest one in the room. So...arrogant!

"Walk," she said suddenly.

"What do you mean walk?" I asked.

Ohhhh. It dawned on me.

"But...we can't walk!" I protested.

"Come on!" Myka said, already starting. "It's only a few miles."

I jogged to catch up with her. Myka walked really fast!


	8. Chapter 8

The impact threw all of us forwards. Luckily, Jinksy and I hit the soft-ish seat in front of us.

Others weren't so lucky. Let me just say that.

Very quickly, the water level started to rise. We started to sink.

Steve and I were at the back of the plane. Some people were trying to swim, but with another jolt we were flung against the seat again.

By now, 20% of the passengers were unconscious or drowning or both.

"Wake up, Jinksy, wake up," I said, gently patting his cheeks, trying to stir him. The water was rising quickly.

Rising

Rising

Rising

Some people were desperately trying to scramble up. The plane, however, was on a tilt so that the walkway was not usable. More people were climbing up the seats. The plane jerked again. A toddler screamed as he was flung against the wall. Blood trickled from his head as his crumpled, unconscious body tumbled down into the rising water. I wanted to help everyone, but if I moved I would be a goner.

And Steve would to.

"Steve. Steve! Wake up, wake up, Steve! Wake up!"

60% of people were unconscious, drowning or both.

I couldn't bare to look anymore.

Ever been going to class and not have done your homework, due in like, 2 minutes? Ever had that sinking, terrible feeling?

Multiply that by like, ten million.

You wouldn't even be _close _to what I'm feeling.

"Steve, Steve!" I said, desperately trying to wake him up.

The water was rising.

Rising

Rising

Rising

Rising

"STEVE!" I screamed hysterically. I looked; the flight attendant who had hit on Steve was crawling towards me, weeping.

"STEVE!" I screamed over and over again.

The water kept rising. It was up to the flight attendant's ankles.

The plane jolted again.

She lost her grip and fell, hanging onto the seat a row away from me by her fingernails.

"HELP!" she screamed, sobbing.

Distraught, I grabbed her hands, which only pulled me down. The plane was on almost a 90 degree angle. I was bent over the seat, legs dangling.

The flight assistant screamed.

"STEVE!" I cried again.

"STEVE!"

"STEVE, WAKE THE FRAK UP!"


	9. Chapter 9

"Do you have to walk so _fast_?" Artie grumbled, panting as he tried to keep up with my swift pace.

"Well, we want to bag the artifact before Leena and Myka eat me alive!" I shot back. Jesus, even I was getting tired. The whole Warehouse was about the size of Rhode Island, and it was expanding.

"We're here," I announced, as we got to the aisle. I put on 'special' protective gloves, that were about ten times thicker. Created by our inventor Claudia, of course. Artie was a bit jealous she was always making cool gadgets; he claims she's just doing it to leave an imprint on the Warehouse forever.

I cautiously grabbed the Nefertiti statue.

I chuckled.

The name is funny.

"Ok, Pete, did you bring the bag?" Artie asked, still panting.

"Noooo," I hesitated. "You were gonna bring it."

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were."

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were."

"Ok!" Artie yelled. "Let's stop _bantering_ back and forth like children and find a station! There is one just a few aisles from here."

"Ok," I said, started walking briskly.

"Not..._he huh huh_...so..._huh huh...fast!_"

I found the gooery station. I held the artifact out from my body, averted my eyes, and lathered the statue with goo.

"Wha?"

There was no reaction.

"Maybe it's a double key artifact!" Artie said.

"Or maybe it's one of those ones that you have to do something for it to stop the effects."

"Lets go back to my office; there _might_, slight tiny chance, be some info on it. Hidden. Now _hurry_!"

Oh, now _you're_ hurrying, are you?

Let's just hope we find some info before Myka and Leena kill me.


End file.
